Just a little ramble to round out my two day birthday (one in Manila, and one here in the US!). I've been making little realizations on life as I turn the big 2-5, and I figured I would write it all down, y'know. For posterity. Wrote this on a Metro in DC, so it might be a little bit raw.
1. I know everything and nothing.
I thought it would be a sudden thing, that I would wake up one day and realize that I'm an adult, but there are still so many things I'm finding out about life. Its's not that fast or that easy and half the people around you don't know what they're doing either, no matter what your Facebook feed says!
2. Take chances, opportunities as they come, every time.
There are times when you find yourself staring an opportunity in the face. I've been raised to never take those for granted, try and take it as far as you can. I haven't regretted any of it yet! If it's supposed to happen, then it will. Just make sure you'll be able to do your part to make it happen. You'll feel it inside. When it's right you get these weird flutters in your chest and your hands get clammy.
Just me? Okay then.
3. It's totally fine to ask for help.
A large part of my 'growth' came with asking others how they do what they do, what motivated them. I looked for role models that had approaches that made sense to me, and they help guide me when I have to consider something new. They can be my supportive parents, my crazy siblings, or maybe a British TV actress who has never met me.
Part of being a writer in the Philippines is the community. That I can ask for help or bounce ideas off of other brilliant writers (there will always be brilliant people, that doesn't mean you aren't) who may give you the insight you need to push your work to the next level. We're each others' biggest fans, and isn't that the best?
4. You have no idea where you're going to go (literally!).
I've never been a bucket list kind of girl, only because I never know where I will end up. My fifteen year old self would never imagine being able to see half the places I have, or to be able to write novels! Meet Zac Efron! See a play in London! Part of life is the excitement of not knowing what you'll find. Take it as it comes.
5. I'm only just learning who I am.
I had this idea of who I should become when I was younger. All of that went out of the window by the time I graduated college. I've found that I'm happier that way. You can't trust your younger self to tell you what you should be, because you're younger self doesn't know you like you do.
6. Work isn't always fun.
But if you have a reason for doing it, you won't feel so stressed out. Even doing what you love will always have a stinky part to it, but sometimes its the kind of stink you push yourself throught to do what you love. You gotta do what you gotta do so you can do what you wanna do. And if what you love helps other people, then isn't the work part worth it?
7. Cutting people out of your life is totally possible.
I'm the clingy type, and this was the lesson that hit me the hardest. Why does this person make me feel so bad? Is it my fault? Why do I let myself be used or abused this way? You just have to force yourself to do it. Hopefully you come out better in the end.
8. Friendship isn't the same as it was then you were in school.
I love the kind of friendships that are low maintenance. The kind where you can talk until two in the morning once in a while, the kind where you don't have to take a photo every single time you meet. You don't see them every day anymore, but good friends will always want to be a part of your life, and you theirs.
9. You will always want more.
When I first self-published a book, I gave myself a goal. That goal was to have the book in stock at a bookstore, any bookstore! Shockingly enough, it's happened. I could not be happier, but I still have that gnawing sense of 'wanting' inside me, that I could do more. Is that motivation? Is that competitiveness? I don't know, but it never seems to go away.
10. I am happy.
Terrified of what the next year will bring, but right now in this moment, now lying in bed in a hoodie my cousins gifted me today (thank you!) I am ready for whatever it may be. Hello 25.